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We all start out with one.

Then we take our first breathes and away we go, but where do we go, nobody knows. Or do they? What if someone was manipulating you and everything you do from behind the scenes and we are all just actors in a play of someone else’s mind?

Could you escape such a place, knowing that to do so would pretty much violate any rules of logic and maybe even science? What kind of paradox would occur, would you see yourself as what you have been led to believe was you? Or would you realize that you are nothing more than a singular atom in the midst of a life-changing event that will occur to someone else?

Why do these questions come up from time to time? Am I the only one that ever thinks like this? Does ‘Joe Mechanic’ down at the garage ever wonder why he does what he does and where he came from and whether or not anyone or thing is actually controlling him? Does ‘Suzy Homemaker’ ever get a glimpse outside the cage that she has called home for all her years? Does she see shadows of objects that are impossible to explain, let alone see, but in the corner of her eye she sees “something”.

How is it¬†possible that the mind plays such tricks on some people yet others it just lets them be? Are others just “extras” in our lives and they really have no life, like you would think they do? Does the maid from the hotel after she leaves for the day drive into a location where she will be used the next time you run into her? What about the restaurants, do they actually serve food there? Or is all a ruse of fourth dimensional thought that lets you think there is something good cooking in that kitchen? Maybe the reason you chose McDonald’s over Wendy’s, even though in your mind you like Wendy’s more, is because the crew forgot to show up for work that day or because you are ‘travelling’ through a ‘remote’ town, there really is no need for you to ever see the Wendy’s because your mind has already been made up by the child that is playing with their matchbox car, which happens to look exactly like the one you drive, and since he doesn’t like Wendy’s but loves him some Chicken McNuggets, well.

So, what does it all mean?

I don’t know, you tell me.

 

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Bigfoot

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So there is this story that I have heard about and seen briefly on the internet about a man that supposedly shot and killed Bigfoot.

Yeah.

Now if I were a smart blogger I would link the article here but instead of that let me tell you the fun we had discussing the whole Bigfoot killing and its subsequent autopsy that will be, if it hasn’t already, performed by some lucky doctor.

My co-workers and I, those that are with me on this trip anyway, believe that maybe, just maybe this story is fake. I know it’s probably surprising that people in this day and age do not always believe everything they read on the internet. (Bonjour, anyone?)

Anyway, we started hashing out some ideas of using this new found Bigfoot fame, to our own personal advantage. You know we all have to get our fifteen minutes somehow, so why not try and do it ourselves. So here is our plan…

Step 1: head to our local Wal-mart or some sort of store that would sell costumes, and get a mask that may, or may not, resemble what Bigfoot purportedly looks like.

Step 2, don said mask and proceed to take some ‘selfies’ with Sasquatch. Each of us would have a turn with Sasquatch, proving that we had indeed met up with the gentle beast, given him some Jack Links, got his autograph and took some pictures.

Step 3, post pictures on Facebook, and Twitter and any other social media site we could find – heck this blog could do it, but remember we are looking for popularity and notoriety. Posting here might just defeat that purpose. After posting on Facebook, our combined thousand plus friends would then like and share these pictures to their thousands of friends. Then, like Captain Trips, within a month, 99.4% of the world’s Facebook users would have had the opportunity to see three putzes posing with the mythical beast of the Pacific northwest.

Step 4, write a best selling memoir about the ‘ordeal’ with Bigfoot ¬†and have it become a part of the Oprah book club and the Target book club and your mother’s book club.

Step 5, continue promoting the book on David Letterman and Jay Leno, milking every last ounce of that fifteen seconds possible.

Step 6, one of the co-workers gets caught up in a sex scandal and admits that it was all just a joke and that Sasquatch was really each of us wearing a mask. The three of us will be forgotten in a matter of weeks and can carry on with our quiet lives while appearing on late night radio programs getting serious questions about how we had befriended Bigfoot.

Step 7, count all the money that was made and start planning for the next fifteen minutes.thinking that maybe Yeti needs to make a North American appearance, maybe in Illinois – so the state could impose a Yeti tax on all those involved.

Now after reading all of those steps, and really thinking long and hard about them, doesn’t step 7 seem to hold the most weight when it comes to what is believable? Because trust me, if Illinois can find a way tax something, they will.