Something Completely Different


Trying something new tonight – I am writing from the home office space of one Roger William Miller II, esquire.




I am downstairs in the bowels of the Miller house, below even where the servants live and cook and eat and such, we are talking deep man, like way underground in a cavernous canyon of a cave that we stumbled upon quite by accident, but knew, just knew that this was the place for fun and sun, okay maybe not sun but let me get to where I am going with this okay? So we find this massive cavern and decide to make it into a Miller complex because, well, I am a Miller and thought it would give the place a nice cheery ring to it. Anyway the cavern was found to have an abundant supply of natural resources that will help a person live for an eternity down here, I mean we got your cable television, your popcorn machine your fresh running water and natural gas is just bursting the seams to get to your locale and help you become more productive in life. Okay, some of that was hyperbole, as you can probably imagine – but the popcorn machine is real and really cool and awesome at making popcorn.


I digress.


So we stumble upon this cavern, which coincidentally is right underneath my current humble abode, so the scenario is playing out perfectly. No I am not Batman, but that would be cool. Anyway, like I said the natural resources available are amazing. There is a deep well that gives us the most pure water and best tasting too I might add water that (note, I know there are errors both of the grammatical and spellingal type (I KNOW!!) just roll with it okay?)  the world, at least the world known to me, has ever tasted. Evian, Spavian, or whatever. This was some seriously awesome pure water, whose source ran deeper than i could determine without going on a deep diving mission, of which I really wasn’t inclined to take. Let’s just say that there is enough water here to hydrate a family of nine for at least three hundred years, and I might be playing that a bit conservatively. The first thought was that I had found a veritable gold mine and that I would be wealthy beyond my wildest dreams. Then I got greedy and wanted to hoard it all myself – boy was that the best decision I ever made.


Natural gas seems to flow out of every pour down here, which I know isn’t the exact technical term and all, but boy howdy did I see something workable with that. So I did a little studying and watched some Science channel shows on how to contain and use this great natural resource. With a little time and a little trial and error, I believe that we completed something amazing. We ran the gas throughout the cavern, well first we found the most logical place to tap into it, then piped up the whole cavern – with the intention of possibly moving into the cavern in the near-ish future, thus we made sure that we had pipeline running everywhere we figured to be building rooms and fireplaces and the like, it was quite the maze of piping and well, I needed some outside help with it, which really pained me, but I am glad that I had them do the bulk of the work. In fact, I convince a couple of people that when the time comes, they could bring their families with them and maybe shack up with us for a while. I doubt if anyone will, but you never know.


Where was I? Oh yeah, so I ahd a couple of friends help out with the piping and then we got started on the building of our castle walls. This I didn’t need much help with, especially after I told the kids that they could design and build their own rooms any way they saw fit, but I did limit them to three gas taps and two water taps. Other than that, if they wanted a thousand square foot room, they built themselves a thousand square foot room. Who knew they could be so creative, but I will delve into that a little later. Let’s just say that we had some of the most awesome houses ever built under the ground.


As for that sun issue, well that one was solved with the simple solution of using skylights that started from the house above ground and then were spread out through the whole compaound – I don’t really like calling it that, but it is what it is I guess, aye?


Pardon my Irish for creeping in there, it happens on occasion and I have to do my best to maintain me sense.


So we have heat, light, water and food. Uh oh, I didn’t mention the food, well we later found while investigating the cavern, that there was another source of fresh water, although not nearly as pure as our original source. anyway, thes river had some lush soil that just was asking to be tilled, and so we placed a couple of our skylights in some proper positions, tilled the land, planted the seed and there you have it, a garden that not only grows some awesome vegetables, but because of the climate could produce more yield than any similar sized plot of land above ground could, it was like our prayers were answered, and then the river also surprised us with fish, lots and lots of fish. Now I would love to have a steak someday and we are debating whether or not to buy us a couple of cattle to supply said meat and possibly some milk. The problem with that was threefold; one, how do we get the cattle into the cavern without people noticing?; two, how do we jkkkjdkk ksdkj kjsd jjs  arghh brain cramp.

I will revisit you laters.


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