Travel Day

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The day that I look forward to on every job I get sent out on, because I get to go home to my family and sleep in my own bed.

It is a glorious day.

Wonderful day.

Long day.

Especially since I always feel guilty by just traveling on my travel day, so I tend to have a later flight out so I can help if needed. Sometimes it is appreciated, sometimes not so much.

This trip was fun on several different levels, one my home got more snow than I did this time, which is really weird considering that I’ve been in Canada for the past three weeks; two, I was able to experience the Olympics from a whole different vantage point. I think the president of the United States should do the same, because it will show him what it is like to have actual pride in your country, instead of apologizing for whatever. The pride shown by all the Canadians that I met was amazing. For example, the four to six hours that they were actually at the top of the medal table were hours spent in celebration. Truly remarkable and fun to watch.

The Canadians are very friendly, to a fault almost. Except maybe, when they don’t know a citizen of the US is listening. Just kidding.

So now here I sit waiting for my plane, watching people, thinking I wonder what kind of story I could write about that person, or that family…

Off to take notes..

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Science Fiction Top 5

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shows.

In my humble opinion, of course. Note that these are MY choices (which means they can and will probably change at some point) and there was NO scientific data taken, so if you want to get mad at anyone, you need to talk to this guy.

Counting down from number

5. Space:1999 – this show was around when I was wee lad, okay maybe not so wee, but it came out in the late ’70s and I thought for sure by the end of the century I would be living on a space station orbiting the moon or something. Here it is 2014 and the highest I’ve been off the ground is about 40,000 feet which isn’t even out of our own atmosphere. To say that the eight year old me would be disappointed is a big understatement.

4. Buck Roger in the 25th Century – a silly, yet fun science fiction show of the late seventies that also made me wish of space travel and beautiful alien princesses, along with talking robots and a Vegas like atmosphere, where anything that happened in the 25th century, stayed in the 25th century. Needless to say, the science in this show wasn’t too great, but the outfits sure were and I loved it.

3 Farscape – Oh my goodness, this was tough, putting one of my all-time favorite shows at number three, but, it must be. Truth be told, the top three are kind of like 1a, b, and c, so I win. Right? It’s on the line of Buck Rogers in that an astronaut is put in a situation where he is like a fish out of water, but John Crichton is way cooler than Buck Rogers any day. It is also the first show that I really started hating bean counters and their idea of ruining my entertainment. Or something like that, which will be the theme of the next choices as well.

2. The three Stargate series – I know, it’s kind of a cop-out, but if I were to make a true top five, then these three shows would all be in it and keep those late 70s shows out, and we wouldn’t want that, right? (Okay, so maybe I should have went to ten, but then…) Anyway, I will list these from least favorite to most favorite (feel better?), first is Stargate:Atlantis – this was the original spinoff from the Stargate SG-1 series that was based on the movie entitled Stargate, makes sense, right? Anyway, this show is about a group of explorers that find and are basically trapped on Atlantis, which turns out to be an ancient ship. Next would be, and this one is tough, but I will have to say SGU Stargate Universe only because it only had forty episodes before the geniuses at the SyFy network (yeah, the same idiots that changed the name to Syfy and put pro wrestling on the channel) decided to pull the plug, just as it was getting really good. Actually, I think they pulled the plug before they saw it get good, but what can you do – they don’t care. Number one of these three is the original Stargate SG-1, starring Richard Dean Anderson, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge and Michael Shanks. It is about a team of explorers that search for things that will make life on earth better, sort of. There is politics involved, and lots of humor. I could easily write two hundred blog posts of considerable size about this show, but i won’t, since I am sure it has been done before.

which leads us up to number

1 Firefly – Surprised? I mean the show only had fourteen episodes before the geniuses at FOX decided that it wasn’t worthy of keeping on the air. Were they right? No way! This show was awesome, it had great visual effects, a hybrid Chinese/Western American feel and great writing. I mean really really great writing.

Honorable mentions, in no particular order:

Dr Who – depends on who the Doctor is

LOST

Twilight Zone (original)

Warehouse 13

Eureka

Battlestar Galactica – both versions, although the older version was a lot funnier and the latest was pretty dark, to say the least.

Star Trek – all five shows, although Enterprise suffered the same fate as the original, short-sighted TV executives, blah, blah, blah…

That’s my list, feel free to write me your displeasure, disagreement and anything else you feel like sharing. I have thick skin, so it’s okay.

Some Fun

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She was always the invisible one in the family. Nobody noticed her until the day...

the world stopped spinning. That was when all the words that came out of her mouth finally started making sense, but it was too late. She knew, of course, that this was going to happen, even knew how to stop it from happening, but since no one seemed to care about her, why should she care about them.

She was always the invisible one in the family. Nobody noticed her until the day...

she decided that running through the house, yard, and neighborhood, in the nude, would be fun. While it was exhilarating her time in jail wasn’t quite what she expected, because she never went. No one cared enough to arrest her, videotape her, have a chat with her. Nothing at all. At least she wasn’t invisible anymore, but this seemed to be much worse, in her eyes.

She was always the invisible one in the family. Nobody noticed her until the day...

She decided to come out of her room and grab her father by his beard and yell the most obscure, insane and profane story she could think of, while sitting in his bowl of soup. That was her mistake, not the beard or the stupid story with a few words of profanity – that while he didn’t approve of the language, thinking that such words were always a crutch of an uneducated mind – no sir, what got under her father’s skin that time was the fact that she sat in the last bowl of his favorite soup that her late mother, his late wife, had prepared for him, and that he had managed to save for a meal on the anniversary of her death for each of the past three years. That is what caused her father to react and finally take notice of the little girl who missed her daddy. If only she knew that was what it would take.

Now it’s your turn, use the sentence in bold as a starting sentence for a paragraph or a short story. Have fun and write on!

 

Something Awesome

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I know, I use that word a lot. What can I say I think a lot of things are awesome. Anyway, I saw a video of these two brothers jamming on a cello, one each, to AC/DC’s Thunderstruck, now, I can’t seem to get enough of them, and you know what?  You shouldn’t either.

Exhibit A:

Pretty awesome right?

Now check this out, the can do some serious justice to Benedictus as well…

Exhibit B:

Because of them, I have also found Lindsay Stirling, here she is with Pentatonix

Radioactive – Lindsay Stirling w/Pentatonix

Here she is by herself, I’m loving the violin w/dubstep. 🙂

Elements – Lindsay Stirling

Needless to say I’m loving this stuff and can’t wait to hear more, from Bond, EScala, etc…

Happy listening.

 

Monday, Monday

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Oh what a fun day, with the exception of…

Okay, I won’t go through a litany of Monday-isms because well, to be honest, it’s been done before and I like to think of myself as a little more unique than that.

Yeah.

I almost believe that myself.

Actually, I do. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be here right now, and I want to thank the academy for all the love they shared by choosing me to perform here and now, and….

So, about Monday.

It’s the first working day of the week and it always is fun to come to back and experience all the things that you may have missed over the weekend while out enjoying the time away. Except in this case, because I was there all weekend working, so maybe I just felt a little burned out.

Or…

Maybe the swimming pool at the hotel had so much chlorine in it that it made me feel less than human, which is never a lot of fun when you are expected to be fully focused at work. Maybe I should have used some Five Hour Energy.

Product placement at it’s finest. there.

Focus Roger, focus.

That is what I am trying to do here, stay focused. But, with it being Monday and my not feeling well it is extremely difficult. Plus I’m talking with the boys at home and…

No more excuses.

Welcome to the voices in my head, they had a coherent thought and idea about what to write about today and then the life got sucked out of it while working and then the sleep overtook me and I got refreshed, only that I didn’t. So what did I want to talk about today? Well, so far I have written over two hundred and fifty words of nothing, so what does that tell you about where my mind is. Also note I wrote out 250 so I must be reaching for word count, lol.

It seems like every time I start to come up with an idea, I get sidetracked by something.

Maybe I should change the title to “Stuff in my Head” at least you wouldn’t expect too much, other than my own sense of self-deprecating humor. Then again the subhead to this blog is something about a wandering mind.

So now you know… the rest of the story.

 

Seven Days to Glory

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Or something like that. I have decided to try my hand at linking to one of those things that encourage you to write. In this case it will be seven posts in seven days – not counting this one.

There is a pretty little picture that I thought I knew how to add here, but it isn’t working, yet. however, knowing me, I will continue to write what ever is on my mind while looking at what I am supposed to do to add said picture.

Maybe I am supposed to link to the original blog… Hold on a second…

7-day-blog-challenge

 

Ahh, there it is. Now if you want to join in, go over and visit Jen  and see how to do it professionally, unlike what I have done here.

I really need to play around with this stuff more, methinks.

**NOTE**- I think I may have figured out the whole link thing so, you should be able to just click on the name Jen and you will be taken to a magical place.

Now, I am off to experience life so I can have something to write about later. 🙂

 

 

Horrorgasm

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Victor Volitz died on a Tuesday, in Violet Virginia – population 425. By Saturday, his seven children and the rest of Violet were dead as well. This is their story.

Jenni found her father Victor dead on the sofa with his favorite television channel still playing the latest Bridezilla meets Toddlers of Honey Boo Boo on vacation, at a volume that would wake the dead. In fact, Jenni didn’t notice that her father was dead until after, at least, five more episodes (it was a marathon, you would have done the same, admit it) and her father’s smell had gotten to the point where she had to get up and open a window, and tripped over his outstretched arm.

“Daddy, move your arm you lazy sack of bloviating pus!”

Jenni loved her daddy.

“Seriously daddy, you could have hurt me.”

Three more shows and the window wasn’t helping.

“For the love of all things holy, go take a shower!”

Jenni was deeply saddened to learn later that she had been talking to a corpse, but also that the social security would be stopping now, and she might have to get a job. Jenni isn’t sure what bothered her more, but figured she better get the rest of the clan together so they could mourn right and proper.

Or fight.

Fighting was way more fun than mourning anyway.

***

The phone would ring for five minutes before going to voice mail. Holly had set it up that way because her son Henry loved to hide the dang thing and it would take at least that long to find it.

It took four phone calls before she finally found it, by where she was originally sitting, and found out that her father had died and that she would leave her family behind to attend a funeral because she didn’t want them to be unduly influenced by her family back in Violet, and to be honest, she really wanted some time alone so she could sleep through the night. It would also give her husband the opportunity to ‘feel her pain’ while taking care of the babies and fixing the dang cell phone and iPad which seemed to be slipping through her fingers and shattering.

Holly left a note and coupon for a great pizza parlor, and headed back home to mourn her daddy. Also, it would give her a chance to beat the crap out of her brother Roger. That piece of work really needed a good beating after what he did last Christmas, sending rum balls that were obviously re-gifted from their sister Kathë who was the only one that actually knew how to bake.

***

Janet had to leave her choir contest in Hawaii to get back for the wake and funeral, and was none too happy about it. Although it came at a good time, as good a time as hearing about your father’s death can be, as she was on the run from the hotel security, and possibly the Honolulu police department and kick that loser lesbian Lana’s ass for getting all uppity about a freaking poem that she had spent seventeen weeks agonizing over.

It was really only three days of agony, but this bitch had seventeen week’s worth of beat down coming, and Janet was only on week thirteen when Jenni called to let her know that dear old daddy dearest had finally met his maker.

The bastard always got in the way of a good beat down.

***

Karen was ‘milking’ Jack to help him out with Margo, when Jenni called with the news of their father.

“Karen, I have bad news.”

“Yeah Jenni, me too, Jack just won’t get off enough to impregnate Margo and now the vet, says his sperm count is low and abnormal, but I refuse to believe that especially since I paid a small fortune for the dog to begin with…”.

“Dad is dead.”

“Okay and what’s the bad news? Are Roger and Katherine going to be there for the wake? You know those two and their weapons of comic destruction.”

“Well, I haven’t called them yet. Do you think I should?”

“Nah. Besides, I’d be willing to bet that Holly already told them – if she can find her phone that is.”

“Good point. I think she’ll be here in an hour. I’ll ask her then.”

***

The wake was being held at Victor’s house, technically it was in the garage, because Jenni didn’t know how to organize one until it was too late. Luckily Bryan and Siobhan, cousins from mom’s side of the family, got wind of the death of Victor and offered to get him “all pertied up” for the wake, as long as Jenni had somewhere that they could dump the blood.

The wake was a splendid affair that was attended by no one in town because, well, no one liked Victor.

Not one single person in the entire town.

***

Roger found out that his father had died when his sister Holly called. She promised not to call Katherine, yet had called her first, so she really didn’t break the promise to Roger. She did not promise Katherine anything, in fact after making both calls Holly decided that popcorn would be in order for the upcoming ‘show’ when the wake got started. Holly was also no dummy, and told Katherine the wake started at three, while she told Roger it started at four.

***

At three o’clock a limousine pulled into the driveway and Katherine had arrived. Everyone looked at Jenni, who simply said, “I didn’t call her.”

“What’s up bitches? Where’s ole fat and flabby? I got a little something I want to show him.”

“Katherine it is so nice of you to come and see father off to his everlasting peace.”

“Everlasting peace? Shit he’s in Hell watching the action to get started, I’m sure. Either that or he’s sleeping through it all.”

“Katherine, he’s dead, so there is no need for sl…”

“No shit Janet! Glad to see those brains of yours are still in working order. Sing any good hymns lately?”

“I, uh… kiss off KATE!”

The knife that struck Janet in the right arm came from Katherine, for sure. Only no one actually saw her throw it. No one called Katherine, Kate, and lived to see the next day. Everyone knew that, yet Janet decided to throw that gauntlet down right away.

Janet was also prepared, getting a gown made of Kevlar was expensive, but well worth it when it came to meetings with her family. Momma didn’t raise no dummies, unfortunately momma didn’t really raise any of them after Roger and his fat head arrived and ripped momma open so much that she died in three minutes after his arrival.

***

Roger arrived thirty minutes early, as was his custom, and thirty minutes after Katherine. He knew that Holly had called her before she called him, because Holly liked the show.

Getting a double-edged sword through airport security isn’t the easiest thing to do when all you have is a carryon bag, so Roger had to collect the swords he kept near the house, which were hidden just for such an occasion as this, the wake of his daddy.

He would, of course, save Katherine for last – she always was a good adversary.

***

Sheriff’s report from the weekend:

Victor Volitz’s Vast Violent, Vindictive, Vehement, Versatile family Victimizes Violet.

Death count: 440, including the decedent Victor Volitz and his family.

Root cause: A wake gone bad

Summary: A member of Victor Volitz’s family, we suspect either Roger Volitz or Katherine Volitz, somehow rigged the entire town to explode violently at approximately 1537 local time. No citizen survived the explosions; basically they wiped the entire town off the map.

—- I really wish that I could put that statement better, but it really was that simple, town go BOOM!

Meanwhile at the Volitz residence the family was having a wake for the deceased. Those present included all seven of Mr. Volitz’s children, along with a niece and nephew who were there after preparing the body for burial. (Illegally, I might add, but it really is quite a moot point now when you come to think of it)

The best that forensics could determine is that shortly after Victor’s only son Roger arrived, the town blew up, at which point Kathë had her head removed from her body by a double-edged sword (see exhibit A & B), from what we could gather in talking with those familiar with Mr Volitz (Roger), he didn’t like the fact that everyone seemed to know that he didn’t know how to make rum balls and had been re-gifting the things to his siblings under the pretense that he did in fact make them himself. For that, his sister was decapitated.

Forensics then believes that Janet, who had just missed losing her arm moments earlier, died from blunt trauma to the head, forensics suspects a frying pan (Exhibit C), and they also suspect that it was from a backhanded motion, which if true, really makes me impressed. With the forensic team. No really. How did they figure that one?

Karen, who was wearing gloves because she was apparently trying to get some doggy sperm from her dog Jack by utilizing her hands in a milking motion (okay you get the point, and there is no need to mention that the dog’s name was Jack(forget I wrote that, in triplicate(CRAP))). There was no dog found at the scene of the crime. Who knows, maybe there will be a bunch of little Jacks running around in the fields somewhere. I suspect he never quite expected the stimulation that he received from both Karen and the sword and frying pan wielding nut jobs. So yeah, Karen was the third to go.

Bryan and Siobhan didn’t seem to put up much of a fight and were found embraced together with their heads bashed in. Not only was Katherine good with a backhand, she also was pretty quick as well, since we only found the one frying pan (Exhibit C).

— if you are still reading this and keeping score, that means Katherine was leading by a count of three to one, unless of course we determine that Roger was responsible for the town, in which case he will leave as the ultimate victor. If I may interject some more personal narration into this report than I already have, I suspect that Roger and Katherine may have been in cahoots for the town death toll, so I would give them both 210 additional bodies. I have been ordered to complete this report in a timely fashion for the judge’s review, as in NOW, so I must.

Jenni, who was trying to hide behind her deceased father was found with an axe to her head which was found rolling around in the garage after a furtive search – we suspect that Jack thought the head was a chew toy, at least until he got wooed away from the scene, as there were many bite marks on the ears, and the head appeared to be dragged a short distance as well. Forensics is still trying to determine if the axe hit the head before or after decapitation. I’m inclined to call this one a tie.

Holly suffered a single gunshot wound to the head; her popcorn was spilled and resting on an iPhone with a cracked case. We believe that she saw what was coming and wanted to do it her way. Friends said that she will finally get some sleep, and hope it wasn’t truly a suicide, since her soul will never make it to Heaven now. She was very devout in her faith, from all accounts.

That leaves us with Katherine and Roger. One with an axe in the head, the other without one, if you have read this far I am sure that you will know which is which. Regardless, it was a real horrorgasm.

Signed,

Sheriff Jeni Micha Tirk

For Judge

Jennifer Spencer

On this ninth day of November, in the year of our lord two thousand thirteen.